I'll Clip Your Wings
by aliruth1
Summary: His mother's fingertips brush gently over his back, "Never let them see your wings, Eren." Finally able to leave his house, Eren moves away for college. How is one supposed to keep his mother's promise when he has insane suite mates that walk in when he's showering? Why is his back acting up after so long? And why is that cop so angry and short?
1. Chapter 1

-Nine Years Ago-

He turned his head away from his father pushing the last of the boxes onto the small moving van, holding back a sniffle. It wouldn't be manly to be seen crying at his age.

"Eren, sweetheart, let's get in the car, alright?" Eren jumped at the sound of his mother coming up behind him, carrying the keys to their car.

He nodded reluctantly and slid into the passenger seat as his mother climbed in the drivers. Eren barely noticed his father walk over to the driver window as Eren gazed at his now empty home.

"Just keep driving. Don't stop. Don't answer any questions. Don't take any calls, you hear me?" Grisha Jaeger spoke soft yet stern, cautiously looking at the neighboring houses as he talked.

Carla nodded gently with a smile. She then turned the key over and patiently waited for her husband to pull out of the driveway with the van.

As they pulled away, a few drops fell on both occupants of the cars' cheeks. Not that Eren would admit to it. Again, that wouldn't be manly of him, and he was becoming a man. That's what his father told him!

Not many minutes had passed before Eren's eyes had closed completely. His mind began to recall the happenings of the past few days. The event that had Eren becoming a man, so his father said. The event that caused the sudden moving. The event that ripped Eren away from everything he knew.

His tenth birthday.

-Three Days Earlier-

It was perfect.

The weather was a perfect May day with a slight breeze and few clouds in the sky. The house was clean. His party had just ended. Friends had been sent home, his numerous gifts filling up his room. His friends and himself had spent the day swimming in the pool that resided in the ground behind his house. Eren and his friends held as many competitions as possible. Whose cannonball was the biggest? Who could lap the pool the fastest? Eren was so proud of his swimming skills that he learned at the local swim team. And despite what the jerk from next door had said Eren definitely had had the biggest cannonball. The best part of the day was that Eren was ten. A big milestone for him.

He was currently curled up on the couch next to his mother. Eren firmly believed that sitting with his mom could never be seen as unmanly. Grisha sat in a reclining chair, smoking a pipe while they all watched a movie. But Eren's focus was more on the clock that sat above the TV, hanging on the wall. It was half past five. Seven more minutes until his actual birthday. Then it would be really official!

Five minutes remained when Carla stood up and walked to the next room, the kitchen. Eren knew he was going to get another slice of cake. It was tradition every year; a slice of cake before dinner on the minute he was born.

Three minutes remained as Grisha stopped the movie and snuffed out his pipe. The dark-haired man walked over to Eren, ruffling his hair playfully. His father goofily joked about him becoming a man now that Eren was in the double digits.

One minute remained as his mother walked out of the kitchen holding the cake carefully with its lit candle. She had a large, white smile gracing her face as she sat down next to her son.

Thirty seconds remained when both of his parents hugged him and Eren blew out the candle, giddily.

"Happy Birthday, darling."

"Happy Birthday, son."

Zero seconds remained as everything in sight turned black. Eren's back arched as screamed out. A pain worse than any knee scraping, any fall from a tree exploded on his back. His arms scrambled back as he scratched wildly. Eren could see nothing, could barely hear anything over his own screams. He cried out for his mother. His father. Anyone. Make it stop. Get it off him.

"Grisha! What's happening to him? Do something?" Carla tried to reach out and hold her son, but his thrashing was too intense for to get a secure hold of him. It's a mother's worst fear to see her child in pain. She felt helpless as Eren ripped away from her violently.

Grisha snapped out of his apparent stupor and grabbed onto his sons wrists, trying to hold back his thrashing. It took minutes of struggle, but it appeared as though Eren was tiring out. The boy slumped down onto his father's shoulder, chocolate hair stuck to his face that was covered in cold sweat. Carla began cooing and reached out to rub her sons back. The unconscious boy flinched sharply as his mother's hand touched him. Both parents' eyes widened at the action. Grisha stood up laying his son on his stomach length-wise along the couch. He silently walked to their bedroom, grabbing a first aid kit that was meant more scrapes and cuts caused by a child's clumsiness.

Settling beside him, Grisha reached gently down to pull up Eren's shirt where it seemed the pain had originated. He had it barely to the boy's waist when Carla covered her mouth, stifling a sob.

Grisha yanked up at the rest of the shirt, hoisting it up to the boy's shoulders. His fists clenched, Grisha stared blankly at his son's back. He then stood up and with shaking hands took the first aid kit and walked back to his room. The door slammed shut and through the silence anyone in the house would have heard the lock click just seconds before the crash of a metal box hitting a wall, inevitably leaving a hole that no one would fix.

Carla scrambled next to her son, fingers ghosting over the back of her usually deeply tanned son. His back was horridly red, as if he had been sitting in the sun for hours, which was normal for him, but Eren never burnt simply darkened. There were welts of even darker red from where Eren had scratched where he could. They looked more like a mauling from an animal rather than a young boy's nails. The worst part wasn't the red but the black that adorned her son's shoulders and back. As if someone had branded it there, there was a design that covered his entire. They were small shapes lining up into feathers that formed two wings. They covered from the outermost of his shoulder blades to the small of his back. If Carla had not just seen the boy's back a mere hour or so ago as he swam and if Eren hadn't been a mere boy, she would have believed that this was a fresh tattoo, professionally done in a shop. It was beautiful in a disconcerting manner.

Carla went to the kitchen fetching a cloth wet from the sink and a bottle of lotion. She glanced down the hallway towards her bedroom before sighing heavily and rushing back to the living room. Eren groaned slightly as the first touch of the cloth touched his back. His skin was warmer than even his higher-than-usual temperature. The cloth must have felt delicious had Eren been awake to comment. Gently, Carla ran the cloth along the design. She then rubbed some of the lotion onto his back, hoping it would soother her child somewhat. After pulling down his shirt, Carla left her son with a kiss on his head and went to the kitchen to clean up until Grisha cooled down.

Eren awoke with a gasp. His mother's arm was gently shaking his shoulder, smiling down gently.

"Eren, sweetheart, I'm sure you need the restroom. I'll grab us some snacks too." Eren glanced out the window of the now stopped car. It was pitch black outside, nothing more than a few stars in the cloudy night sky. Despite the darkness, even Eren could tell he was nowhere near home.

Stretching loudly, Eren unclicked his belt and left the car to head inside the nondescript rest stop. Eren found himself sitting in a stall, groaning. He didn't even have to really go, but he had to follow his father's rules.

Eren had awoken, feeling as though he had fallen out of a tree again. No, not even that compared to the soreness in his body. The boy flipped himself onto his back before immediately shooting back up. Eren tore off his shirt, twisting and turning trying to see what was on his back. Unable to see anything, he ran straight towards the bath room, closing the door loudly. He didn't even hear his mother call out to him as he stood back towards the mirror and twisted his neck to see.

Wings. There were wings on his back. It was almost funny had he not just felt the immense pain of whatever acquisition he just underwent to receive them. Even so, Eren still let out a giggle.

"I always wanted to fly!"

Carla opened the bathroom door, relieved it wasn't locked. She was expecting a furious child, crying or tearing something apart as he often had before when in a tantrum. Instead she gazed upon a boy smiling and laughing, as though he hadn't just passed out from pain. Carla fell to her knees next to her son and grabbed onto him, hugging him tightly. She began laughing through tears, joining Eren in his happiness.

Neither knew how long they stood or kneeled there, they only stopped when a throat clearing interrupted them. With a curt turn of the head signaling to follow, Grisha walked away and headed back to the living room.

They spent hours in the living room. Carla and Grisha spoke quickly and quietly as if Eren wasn't sitting with them. Eren didn't always know what they were saying but it all seemed quite heated. At one point Carla had stopped pleading about something and started to cry, Eren sat closer to her and wrapped his arms around her waist, trying to comfort his mother if at all possible.

"Eren," The mentioned boy turned his head to look at his father. Grisha ran a hand through his hair, sighing deeply. He looked older suddenly as if the few hours had aged him.

"You need to start packing your things. We'll be leaving soon." Eren startled and began to argue back, but the glare Grisha gave him shut him up.

"While we're here still and from now on, listen closely now. Never, ever let anyone speak to you or even look at your back." With that, Carla gave her son a nudge, instructing him to head to his room.

That was the last time Grisha had actually spoken to Eren in three days. The only other times were to smack the phone out of the boy's hand, yelling at him for calling his friend. Eren wasn't allowed to say goodbye to anyone. Eren was worried about his swim team.

Eren shakily unlocked the stall door, once again holding back tears. He walked out of the bathroom rubbing his eyes unaware of the person entering. Eren fell back as he crashed into someone. Rubbing his eyes even more furiously, he picked himself up and ran away without looking back. He ran to the car and buckled himself in, pretending to fall asleep before his mother came back.

Shaking his head angrily, a man began brushing his front off for any possible child-germs that had attached themselves to the man's shirt, glaring in the direction that the child had run towards. One hand reached behind himself and absent-mindedly scratched.

"Shitty little brat didn't even say sorry."


	2. Chapter 2

It was only eight months later that Eren was standing ankle-deep in the snow, staring at the stone with his mother's name engraved on it. His father was the only other one there despite how many friends she used to have before moving. They didn't even bury her in a cemetery. Grisha had his wife buried on the outskirts of their property, a few acres away from the house that was hidden between massive amounts of forest.

It was an accident. Eren had fallen down whilst climbing a tree and they were out of bandages from the last mishap so Carla had taken the car while Grisha napped to head off into town to fetch some.

She never came back. Died on contact his father was told. Eren had overheard him on the phone. Despite that, Grisha continued to look down at his son in contempt.

It hadn't been a fantastic eight months, but it was bearable with his mom there. She would explain the harsh words Grisha used into caring notions about Eren's safety and wellbeing.

"Homeschooling is a much better option, Eren! You'll be the smartest boy alive."

"We'll put in a pool in the spring once the ground thaws. You'll be able to swim as much as you like."

"Oh, it's only old people who live in the town and it's much too far to worry about going to. That's why your father wants us to stay here."

And Eren's personal favorite.

"No, of course it's not your fault we left."

Eren wasn't a dumb boy. Irrational and reckless, yes, but stupid? No. He could tell his mother was lying. She was as unhappy as he was being forced to stay at their new home. It wasn't the homes fault. It was beautiful with its two stories and a finished basement. Ten acres of land to do whatever they desired with. It was fun at first; almost like summer had started early. Eren could run around for hours, no limits were given except for what he was told by his father when he had first arrived.

"Never go off the property. You're to stay here."

But again, Eren wasn't stupid. As the summer winded down and he expected to get enrolled in school he began to notice changes. His father no longer ruffled his hair. Nor did they have movie nights or bonfires. Grisha spent more time than he ever had at whatever doctoral job he had found out there.

His mother smiled less. Of course she always smiled around Eren, but Eren never saw them when she thought he wasn't looking. She didn't smile as big when Grisha came home. Everything seemed strained. A rubber band about to snap. And it did eight months after they arrived in their new home.

Eren and his father walked into their house silently, but unspoken words were there. Grisha said nothing as he headed to the kitchen and poured himself a larger-than- usual glass of the amber liquid Eren saw him drink frequently.

Eren walked upstairs to his bedroom and tossed his jacket onto the floor before falling face-first onto his bed. He drifted for a few minutes until he was pulled sharply as a crashing sound of glass breaking upon glass downstairs permeated his ears. When Eren went down to the kitchen, he found the glass his father had been drinking from and the mirror hanging upon the wall shattered. Eren walked around the rest of the room and found that every single mirror and reflective surface had been destroyed.

Eren found his father, snoring, in his bedroom, seemingly unaffected by his own actions the night before. Unfortunately, this would not be the last time Eren would stumble upon broken glass or a passed out father.

-Seven Years Later-

"Eren, what have I told you about this?" The mentioned boy jumped from his desk, pulling out his headphones in the process. His father was home, although much later than his shift would have ended. Ah yes, the bar again. What a shocker. It wasn't as though Grisha tried to hide it, stumbling in at all hours smelling like he had taken a bath in warm beer and cheap whiskey.

Eren had been studying on his laptop for his online classes, blasting music as he did so. It was an abnormally warm night for April so he had taken off his shirt in an attempt to cool off since the air conditioning hadn't been turned on yet. It shouldn't have been a problem that a seventeen year old boy was hanging in his room shirtless, but of course for him it was.

The less tan than usual boy scrambled to throw his shirt back on.

"I'm sorry, Dad. I didn't mean to! It's nighttime and I didn't leave the house! I promise." Grisha gave an almost inhuman snarl. There were few times Eren had been caught with his shirt off and none of them had been pleasant.

"What if someone had seen, you stupid shit?" It was the same line every time. It was then always accompanied by too much hurt. No, never physical abuse sometimes Eren would think mockingly. That would require his father to actually touch him, and god forbid if he did that. No, Eren was never hurt on the outside, but knew where to really strike him.

"This all your fuckin' fault kid!" Eren internally cringed. He knew it was. It was almost ingrained into his mind. He heard it every day, every night, any time the house seemed even more quiet than usual.

"I'm sorry, dad. It won't happen again." And that is when the situation deviated from the norm. Usually, his father would continue to yell and shout about how everything was Eren's fault. The move. His mother. The drinking. Then it would move onto Grisha breaking more glasses, drinking even more then passing out on the couch before heading off to work in the morning. This time was different. Grisha went silent, suddenly more sober seeming than he had in months. Then something that frightened Eren more than the silence happened.

His father laughed.

Not a short sneer or snort. It didn't seem sarcastic or unintentional. It was long and loud. The manic laughter seemed to never end. It died down after a few minutes and Grisha wiped accidental tears from eyes, slowing down to a chuckle. He shook his head, grinning wildly at Eren.

"No. It doesn't matter what you do anymore. I'm done with all of this." And with that, Grisha turned around and headed downstairs. Eren stood in his room, dumbfounded. He listened to the sounds of objects being removed from shelves and walls. He didn't know how long he listened for until he heard the sound of the front door being slammed shut.

Eren found his feet and rushed out of his room, throwing himself down the stairs two at a time before following his father outside who was currently shoving a suitcase in the back of their van.

"W-where are you going?" His voice was smaller than intended. This was too much like a frequent nightmare. Eren could barely see his father grin in the dark.

"I'm leaving a disgusting thing behind. There's money in your account. Take the car. Go out into town. I'm not going to be connected to you anymore." Grisha opened the driver door and sat down. The smile fell off his face as he rolled down the window to stare at Eren.

"And if you ever get caught, you fuckin' monster. Don't you ever mention me. You're not my son. You're a fucking freak."

_Not my son._

_Freak._

_You're a monster._

_I'm done._

Eren watched blankly as his father-no not father, not anymore. He watched as his…..past pulled out and spend down the long driveway until the rear headlights were hidden by trees. He pulled in a sharp breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding as his knees buckled, forcing to fall down onto the doorstep. Shaking hands pulled through his hair, snagging on some, not that Eren felt them. In fact, he didn't feel anything as he pulled himself up and walked back into the house, leaving the door hang open. He glanced into the kitchen and noticed on the table was a pile of checkbooks, car keys and debit cards.

Eren grimly snorted. Grisha had been planning this. Tonight hadn't been the last straw. This had been a thought out event that Eren couldn't have avoided. The worn-out teenager walked himself over to the couch, slumping down onto it. Eren reached a hand up to his eyes and rubbed. When he pulled his hand down, his eyebrows raised slightly in muted surprise. No tears. A laugh almost as manic as his father's had been burst from his chest. He couldn't even cry.

As he began to pass out, he thought grimly to himself.

_'Real men don't cry, right dad?'_


	3. Chapter 3

It turns out Grisha left a great deal of money. More than plenty to last years if used sparingly. Of course, Eren didn't find that out till a week after he had left.

Laying on the couch or the bed had been his greatest choice of the week. He felt listless, unmotivated and empty. There was nothing to really push him anymore. He had already pushed everything else away. The jumpstart towards a new sense of normalcy was something simple.

The kitchen had started to run low on food. A teenage boy couldn't live on spices and crackers. So he made an executive decision. Eren would have to leave the property and find a town to shop in. So Eren took a deep breath and grabbed a jacket, the car keys and the debit card and rushed to the small non-descript blue car. His hand paused on the handle, and he gave small chuckle.

'Always knew driving the car around the yard while Da…he was gone was a good idea.'

Then next thing Eren realized, he was backed out of the driveway and stopped at a road. Breathing shakily, he turned left not knowing which was right or wrong. Ten minutes passed as Eren drove down a simple two lane road, shielded from the sun by a thick mass of trees. Twenty more passed until Eren came upon a town sign. 'Huh, Shiganshina. What a weird ass name.'

It was a simple town, flat. A couple stores and gas stations. Nothing too fancy. Eren pulled into a gas station with an ATM outside. Walking up to the machine, Eren realized he couldn't remember if he's ever even seen someone use one before. It took him a couple tries to get the machine to read the card, but then it asked him to input a PIN number. Grisha's birthday? Nope. Eren's birthday? As if. His mother's birthday?

….That was it.

Eren felt a pang of guilt as the screen changed to multiple selections. He figured he should at least see how much Grisha left. 'Probably enough for a bag of chips and a thing of rope.' Pressing bank statement, the machine began to print out. Grabbing it he focused on the number in savings.

Wait a second. How many zeroes is that?

Five. Five zeroes with a three in the front.

Three hundred thousand dollars? Who just leaves their kid that much?

'Oh yeah, someone who doesn't want to be related to that kid anymore.'

With that Eren took a couple hundred out and, still dumbfounded, walked back to his car. He headed next to the grocery store. He strolled through the aisles, not sure what half the items even were. He and his dad only ate basic frozen dinners. So he splurged. Snacks and cookies and soda. 'Might as well enjoy myself,' he though grimly. Pushing his cart up to the cashier, he realized something.

This was the first person other than his parents he's seen in almost eight years.

It was just an elderly woman smiling at him, but despite that, Eren's breathing became short and harrowed as he pulled his cart in, placing his items shakily on the counter. Words of his father ringing much too loudly for comfort. 'Don't let anyone see you, Eren.'

"New around here, hun?" Eren's eyes shot up at here, forced smile faltering slightly.

"O-oh, yeah. I'm from a little ways out." The woman nodded understandingly, as if this were a common occurrence. She continued packing his bags up, not even noticing the state of distress the boy was in.

"Well, you'll have a decent time here. Quiet little place Shiganshina is." She packed the last of the bags up and took the money Eren slid onto the counter with a gentle smile. Immediately after receiving his change, Eren pushed his cart and headed quickly for the door, suddenly exhausted from his interactions.

"Wait a second, boy!" Eren startled to a stop, back straightening in fear. He slowly looked over his shoulder. This was it. They already found out. He's going to a freak show. 'She already knows what kind of weirdo I am.'

The elderly hobbled over to Eren carrying a grocery bag.

"You forgot this one, honey! Can't leave without your pop!" Eren visibly relaxed and gave a genuine smile to the woman laughing at her own joke. He took the bag with a small nod and headed out to his car. After loading everything, Eren sat in the driver's seat with his head in his hands. He began laughing casually. 'She didn't even know! I can do this! As long as no one sees, I can do whatever I want!'

Now rather than buy expensive toys or a fast car like some teens would do, Eren did something else. He looked up colleges. In every nearby state, he researched majors, location, scholarships. He didn't know what he wanted to do, but getting out of whatever Shiganshina was, well, that was priority number one, despite how nice it seemed.

And this is how Eren spent the next year. He studied harder than ever, determined to succeed, on his online courses, graduating his high school with well above average grades. He rarely went into town other than getting necessities. Being the small, quiet town it was, that wasn't a peculiar habit for the citizens who lived there. No questions were asked.

Eren was already well into eighteen years old when he received the news. He had been lounging on his bed, sweating through the June heat. From his computer came a relatively well-known ping. The sound of an email.

Shooting straight up, Eren glanced at his laptop, cocking his head to the side. Clicking open a tab, he paused.

The sender of the message was LU Admissions. With shaking hands, Eren opened the letter. The bright logo of three female silhouettes that were the mascots of the school greeted him firstly. Then he read further.

_Dear Eren Jaeger,_

_As Dean of Legion University, I, Dr. Erwin Smith, would like to congratulate you on your acceptance to our beloved and respected school. Further enclosed in this email will entail your student ID, Advisor, and Rooming. You have been accepted under the Interdisciplinary Studies Program._

_We at Legion are also proud to present you one of our largest financial aid awards, the "Titan Award." You have received a full-ride scholarship, including rooming and board, as long as you keep a 3.5 G.P.A._

_I welcome you to our school, and hope you will do our school and world proud._

_Congratulating you,_

_Dr. Erwin Smith_

_Legion University: Home of the Scouts_

Eren's knees buckled and he slid to the ground. The word of the letter reverberated through his mind. He had applied to only a few schools. He needed scholarships and no questions asked about absolutely anything. Legion University was a long-shot. It was a highly regarded school. He had only applied because it met his criteria, but thought he had no chance there.

But now he did. He had been accepted and with a scholarship nonetheless. Eren smiled weakly to himself. He gave a true laugh, voice slightly hoarse from disuse.

His mind pulled him back into a memory that seemed so long ago.

His mother was holding him on the couch, petting his hair as they listened to soft music. It had been little more than a month since they had moved there. Eren's mother had paused her petting for a second before looking down upon her son.

"Eren, darling." The boy looked up at his mother, feeling calm and tired.

"Eren, I just want you to know something." He nodded his slowly, unsure of what was to be said.

"One day, you will accomplish many beautiful things in life. I believe in that. I just need you to listen to me. If you ever remember anything I say, please remember these things." Eren nodded again.

"Of course, mama. " Carla smiled softly down at her son, resuming her hand threading through his thick hair.

"You're such a strong, good boy. Please never forget that. I couldn't have asked for a better son." She removed her hand from his hand and began rubbing his back almost absent-mindedly.

"I just need you to promise one thing. What is upon your back. I cannot explain to them to you right now, perhaps later, when you are older, but right now it is unimportant. I just need you to promise that as you grow older. . ."

His mother's fingertips brushed gently across his back, "Never let them see your wings, Eren."

The boy nodded fiercely. He was never one to disobey his mother. He would follow her words till he died. They may have rang similar to his father's own lectures, but they were spoken with love and care for Eren.

The teenager reflected on that moment, smiling softly. It was a moment he thought of often. One he would never forget.

Eren pulled himself back up his desk and sifted through the numerous attachments regarding his scheduling and moving in. Noticing a certain date, he looked at the date that was on his phone.

"Shit! I've got less than two months!"

More laughter rang throughout the household for the first time in a very long time as he looked up lists of what to pack and who his roommate was.

It was time to leave.

It was time to become his own person.

It was time to live.


End file.
